intelligent systems

I've been thinking too much of everything as a system.

An understandable system where I just have to trace everyone's actions from the beginning. But neural networks are too difficult to trace. It all happens too fast, and suddenly all you're left with is consequences.

I believed that if we're all to be part of an operational system, then all we have to do is perform the task we're given at the abstraction level we're at. For instance, given a situation where some wrong happens to me, the correct isolated action is to report it, and then all the relevant agents will respond and the action will be resolved because... why wouldn't it be? The system is aware of it. I, a single unit in this giant system, performed my part. I think I really believed that.

In an AI setting, this is very different. A single neuron can make a mistake, and it can not affect anything significantly, down the line. A problem with the very very end result is what matters, but no one really cares, or understands, the mess that happens in-between.

So, what are we? We're not solved systems, not a giant, magical, distributed machine that gets the job done and marches forward. But are we as cold as the neural network? Nothing matters but the end result?

Or maybe, we can be understood as a distributed system, but I misunderstood the purpose of the system as a whole.

Or maybe, someone forgot to, or neglected to, provide error handling.

Maybe this perfect distributed system with a unified known goal and great error handling can only exist in theory.

Biologically, as humans, we are unfortunately not controlled by systems, but instead intelligence. Systems may keep us alive, but intelligence is at the helm. And this intelligence we have is for sure better at doing what artificial intelligence has proven to be better at - making decisions without knowing why or how those decisions came to be. So, how can we be a system, if we are controlled by intelligence? We can't. Not everything can make sense to every unit of intelligence, every human. There is too much to process. If it could've been done, this perfect being would tell us exactly what to do, and we would be foolish to not follow their suggestions, this fictional being that understands multiple beings' intelligences in one being. So, it doesn't exist.

Do not simplify humans to systems.

Do not simplify humans to systems.

Do not simplify humans to systems.

Common App Essay 1

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

I could talk about piano. I could talk about my Asian heritage. I could talk about what it's like to be a straight girl in highschool, although I'd be able to say two sentences, maybe. I could talk about music in general, or idk, go.

But let's talk about the community I'm invested the most in, the community I've found the longest friends, made the best friendships, and discovered myself the most. Let's talk about the gaming community. (as it pertains to me.)

My earliest memories of elementary school are faded and scattered. I remember walking through the hallways silently, as a teacher informed a line of 5th graders how badly they were misbehaving compared to the stoic line of 5-yearolds passing by. I remember running around by myself in the soccer field... chasing butterflies. I remember chasing boys around the playground as a gaggle of girls... God I wish I could erase that memory. How embarrassing. But I don't remember any of these people. Well, I still know one, but he was a family friend. We play league of legends together sometimes now, and went to Animazement earlier this year. (Austin)

I remember finding some words in the bathroom when I was in first grade and telling my parents about them. I attended a different school for 2nd grade.

At this school, I remember exactly two people. I remembered these people until I saw them again years later, their names, what they looked like, whatever, stuff. We used to talk about pokemon together during recess. We looked at cards and stuff. I'm still friends with Vinit, and Ayush... I recognized... We don't talk a lot though.

Alright my memory sucks but I remember.

What am I talking about?

for some reason im very tired now

oh geez I'm thinking too much about the common application

ok i just came back from doing laundry

whew

calm down

casual writing

whewwwwwwwwwwwww

let's just talk about league of legends screw it. that stuff up there is trash. factual, but factual trash.

OH NO FROGGEN NOOOOOOO

GO ELEMENTS TAKE REVENGE ON THE SLAYER OF THE MIGHTY FROGGEN, MASTER OF THE BIRD WORD AND OF THE ARROWS OF VARUS

yeah im watching a game right now lol SK vs EL i'll write who wins once it's over

hmmmmm i don't know what to do. It's like I can't quite bring myself to admit I live in the real world. I'm perfectly okay talking to myself or to other people who live in the same world as me.. the one where we've made up and established the rules.

i'm still very tired

I slept at 4am last night and I was so incredibly awake. Started a movie at 11, finished at 1, played league until 4, watched like 5 minutes of LCS before falling asleep, woke up at 7 and snoozed until 9.

T_T tireeeddddddddddd

maybe i should take a nap

NO I MUST WRITE THIS ESSAY

COMMON APP YOU SHALL NOT DEFEAT ME TODAY

I WILL DISCOVER THE RULES IN THIS UNRULY GAME OF MAO

lemme write an essay

Okay I need structure.

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
wut do

I suppose ...

This is mainly about me. Let's see how gaming has infiltrated my entire life in all of its aspects:

Intelligence - very smart people play games. Maybe we could find some statistics about this and make ourselves sound smart lol

i almost fell asleep again

i want to watch an anime any suggestions guys no ok maybe i should watch that schoollife anime where the pregnant girl is cut open by the jealous girl because the jealous girl realized the pregnant girl was lying about being pregnant and was actually not, which was verified when she was cut open. then the jealous girl walks off into the sunset holding the head of the guy that everyone wanted to date

or something

they were like freshmen in high school...

nah.

maybe i should try black butler again...

nah...

Character - I have learned so much about people and so much about myself by playing games...

asleep

again

geeeeeeez what do I do?

Decision making - games require snap decisions and team play

Research - gameplay requires prior knowledge of opponents and their skills and even skill-level

idk im bsing stuff again

i try not to bs stuff actually... maybe that's bad

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

tired 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XBJeisnS9M <- a link for fun

My LCS teams are Counter Logic Gaming and Elements. Their names are awesome. (y)

LCS - League Champion Series

I really hope future me doesn't forget what the LCS is. I guess she might. Hey, you, I'm talking about you. Do you remember DoubleLift? Do you remember Aphro? The best botlane of the best botlanes (of NA lol) DoubleLift with his amazing life story? How crap a kid he was, and how he was basically adopted by the League of Legends championship series people and how league is literally his life, all he has, and all he knows how to do? How double lift is the name of a magic trick that I tried to copy and failed horribly at? (Kevin Gao idk how you do it. magic is magical) Or Aphromoo, the amazing support who started as a YouTuber ... or a streamer (im always on youtube so i wouldn't know the difference). Aphro with the personality, the plays, the confidence.

Geez i need to get a life. Is this any different than obsessing with standard celebrities though? Like, I don't know anything about any famous singer's life. It's like, a trade-off. I'm wasting about the same amount of brain power, pretty sure, so who cares?

I need to shut off the heating in this room.. i think it's broken it smells like burning. Or a really old cotton pillow. That's very dusty and musty. (i keep ctrl-s-ing idk if that does anything for the post i think it autosaves)

(back)

so those two people are basically the foundation of team CLG.

Team EL is formed around the midlaner, Froggen. EL used to be Alliance. Froggen used to be on Evil Geniuses, which used to be CLG EU. Just a coincidence, really. But Froggen is amazing. Used to have a well-accepted reputation as the best mid-laner in Europe. Elements isn't the no. 1 team rn, but Froggen is still doing great. (watching a game in the background rn and Froggen has 5 out of the 5 team kills)

 whew maybe i should sleep early.

I brought a fridge to my dorm room, finally, so I got a jar of smooth peanut butter (idk if crunchy or smooth is better but i think smooth is safer o.o) and some bread, and im gonna have a sandwich for breakfast tomorrow. :)

gonna be a nice change. I usually make an omelet (cheese and sausage) with the microwave, but microwaved eggs don't taste that great, and I got sick of them. I had ramen one morning... Nachos last friday.

yeah this is gonna be a nice change for sure. 

rambling

maybe i should stop typing the title first.

Now I'm going to try to make this post very rambly, and that never turns out well. I'm fairly tired right now. The night before last night, I laid in bed, awake, until something ridiculous like 6:00am. I swear. No you don't notice when you fall asleep but you do notice when you wake up and I did not wake up before the awful loud storm at 5:30. I was caught in half sleep, where there are hallucinations and dream things around you and you have no control over them to make them go away, but you are awake and can tell where you are and that you are not asleep.

So not a lot of sleep yesterday night.

or is that one yesterday yesterday night. Yeah.

Yesterday night was also not great. i mean, at least i could fall asleep. but it wasn't great. i slept at 2am. And all these days i have to get up at 7am. yayy

i mean it was my fault. im in my series for s3 (ik, trash lol) Played two games last night, lost the first one and it was 12:15 and kevin was like y not and i was like no and then i was like w/e so we played.

haha im so coherent

no im too tired to hit more than one key at a time im sorry
also apostrophe thats too hard

yeah but anyway that 2nd game lasted until 1:17ish
and the internet at ncssm cuts off at 1:00ish

vinit finished the game for me yay
he played for 5 minutes (y)
it was good, i bet
idk
i wasn't there

yep but we won the 2nd so i'm L W _ and i need another W

i would type Xs and checks, but i don't remember how to type a checkmark...

it's so cold... i think i'm sick. Okay i'm sick but i'm not telling people because i'll probably get better by myself because that's how it works right

also Dad's coming over with the fridge today so that's great
I no longer have to bother melissa every morning

also almond milk is disgusting
i should've just stuck to soy milk
or normal milk

i miss normal milk

that would've been a good last line to post on but i want to keep rambling

college... what college do i want to go to?

Okay so i'm stupid so I base a lot of my opinions on general broad ideas and 'names'. like, how good does this name sound

like, jade tiger vs farty bison i'd probably apply to jade tiger because of the name

names i think sound cool: carnegie mellon, uchicago, MIT, berkeley, duke

good schools: just look at the spreadsheet i have a list of 20 of them

ugh college

i mean, it's not that i don't want to go to college, but i guess i'm worried that i might not live up to expectations

my own expectations

i suppose i'll try my best

essay tho

but

okay i really don't know

w/e

i'm almost silver three (y)

Here we go again

When characters wake up in a story from BedTime, the world takes a little while to form in around them.

She held her eyes closed and breathed. The first thing she could feel was the weight of her eyelids and her tongue in her mouth, fat and dry. She coughed, and felt her hands, scratched up, a burn on her right wrist that still bothered her. 

Then she opened her eyes, and everything flooded in at once. She was a human this time, in front of a door. The air-conditioning was turned up high, and chill ran down her back. A white flash of light came in from behind her.

Julia pushed through the door and ran. An atrium. A towering geometric stair climbed upwards and downwards, and sunlight streamed in from all angles. She bolted towards a window, shoving white-coats aside, and leapt. The image of the outside world shattered as she burst through, and as the glass shrieked and the girl fell, she screamed.